Also, an attitude of creativity, curiosity, playfulness and openness are really helpful.Ī sexual contract can be very helpful to reigniting the spark in sexless or low sex marriages.

You do not need to be practicing BDSM to have one.Ī good contract negotiation begins with accepting and celebrating ALL of your and your partners desires without judgement while still knowing that you and your partner have a choice whether or not you want to participate in those desires. Also, a good sexual contract should always be up for renegotiation as our needs and desires change throughout our life and relationships.

Making a sexual contract can be very healthy if people are honest about their desires and their boundaries and don’t try to go beyond or push each other beyond what is comfortable for them. Thanks to 50 shades of grey, BDSM classes and other kinds of outreach, the mainstream – or “vanilla” community as it is called by those who practice BDSM – is incorporating the idea that we can openly and honestly ask for what we want sexually and be clear about our boundaries (what we won’t do) as well. Most people have many unspoken agreements about their sexual and intimate relationships, and never feel comfortable talking about sex. Open, negotiated sexual contracts are not common in relationships. We recently sat down with radio talk show host Tony Stiles to discuss Sexual Contracts and the book 50 Shade of Grey and wanted to share our thoughts on sexual contracts: By Celeste and Danielle Revitalize Your Sexless Marriage

Fifty shades of gray contract